My healing journey through the consciousness approach
This is a case study in healing through consciousness. Here the doctor helps the patient to explore her own cause of illness. The case is narrated by the patient herself.
Here is an unedited version of a journey of healing as experienced, perceived and penned by the patient herself. It is important to hear from the patient directly, since it is primarily her journey, her struggle and her triumph. In the midst of the account, I have inserted a few comments, to highlight some aspects of the therapeutic approach, which may be of broader relevance to the reader.
In the consciousness approach, the doctor is a co-traveller in the path of discovery and healing. There are no fixed standardised approaches, no rigid procedures, only a faith and a will to take responsibility and change oneself.
It took one revelatory session for N to discover and work out the inner conflicts that had perhaps manifested in her physical illness. She regained not just her health but her spirits revived and found a new zeal for life. The healing process brought her a new consciousness of her inner issues, and a new confidence to manage her body and life. As I look back on this case and observe how her health and life has transformed, I realise that no drugs or therapy could have brought such a profound change. It is gratifying to know that we are not helpless in the wake of an illness, that we can work and heal our mind and body, and that the all-powerful inner healer actually resides within us. I marvel at the immense possibilities of healing that lie within the human body and wonder why we do not trust our own self and awaken the powers that lie dormant within us.
“Pranams at the lotus feet of the Divine Mother.
As I pen this experience of mine, I recall the words of Sri Aurobindo, ’All is possible when the God-Touch is there’. My deep gratitude to the Mother’s Grace, which has established itself in my consciousness through a most unexpected, but revealing, healing experience. My eternal gratitude to the Mother and to Dr. Yogesh who, as a channel facilitated my healing process.
(It is significant to note the tone of the opening statement. It is full of gratitude not just to the healer but also to the Divine, whom she believes to be the ultimate healer).
A chronic problem, was eroding my self confidence. I had been troubled by irritable bowel syndrome for almost four years and had gone through a battery of tests. I was relieved to know that there was no issue of any concern. Thanks to the Divine Mother for this. However, the problem continued. Changes in diet etc. did not yield any significant change. I began to feel rather depressed as it affected me in many ways. (Even though the disease affected only the bowels, the psychological impact was far more than the physical alone). Apart from causing significant weight-loss, it affected my spirits and my lifestyle. I felt caged and desperately wondered if I would find a way out. I was told that stress could be a major factor. As I enjoy my job and a positive climate on the house front too, I discounted the stress factor.
It was at this juncture that I chanced to meet Dr. Yogesh Mohan. I happened to attend his session on ‘Consciousness as medicine’. Even as I was attending the session, I was besieged by the IBS problem. It had a telling effect on my spirits and I felt drained of hope and energy. I requested a consultation with Dr. Yogesh and consider myself most fortunate that Mother blessed me with a wonderful healing experience. I had expected him to dole out some medical advice and prescribe some medicine. But Dr. Yogesh heard me out and little did I expect something so marvellous…,well I was on a journey towards discovering my lost health….
At the beginning of the therapy session I was instructed to be seated comfortably. I sat down on the floor. I was asked to close my eyes and silently engage in an inner state of silence and just be…. What unfolded was a profound experience which paved the way for a cure. (I have learned to be quiet and listen to my clients, without trying to judge or jump to conclusions. I neither try to interfere in their lives nor give any advice, but allow their inner intelligence to unfurl things. Very often, all the body needs is silence and peace).
I then had a profound experience that changed something very deep. I was surprised by the images that surfaced in what appeared to be my mind’s eye. There was the ocean and in the midst of the ocean was dear Mother looming large in the periphery holding hands with two others. I recognised them. I recounted this to the doctor and was facilitated to flow with the sequence of images and the inner experience. With streaming eyes I began to recount the bond of trust, care and mutual respect that I had shared with the central figure in the picture for decades. I recalled how abruptly it was severed as it dwindled into a nothingness, a vacuum. The indifference and insensitivity and the attitudinal change that had come to be had left a deep scar and belied the sense of certainty that I had treasured…that the mutual trust and care would last a lifetime. The faith that I had held so dear suffered a terrible blow. The images of those continued to linger and as I was facilitated through the process, by engaging with the scenes that appeared in front of my mind’s eye, I realised that tears were welling up from deep within. The sum total of what happened as a result of the strained environment had made a deep dent affecting the family unity too. I used to often recollect the treasured moments and feel a deep pang.
(During the whole session, I tried to be as passive as possible, merely allowing her inner experiences to unfurl without any explanations or judgement. I knew that something significant was happening, and this was a defining moment in her life).
As I was recounting this, I began to hunch down. With folded hands I bent to such a level, that it appeared as if I had doubled up, becoming diminutive in size. I really felt I was shrinking into a womb or withdrawing into a self. Memories continued to linger and the sense of deprivation and hurt found expression through my words. To me, who had cherished the past and taken for granted that trust and mutual respect would stand the test of time, the unexpected happenings and breakdown of ethical considerations were something I just could not ‘digest’.
(Even though the mind may forget the past, it looms large in our subconscient and even the physical carries the memories of past hurts. It is amazing to observe how much past hurts influence our body and mind).
Then the experience became uplifting. The images of our dear Mother and the others in the background continued to linger. The process slowly reached its culmination with the Mother’s image looming large in the centre of the ocean, above the waters, while the other images blurred out, and gently submerged under the water. There was no violence of thought anywhere and they seemed to leave the scene and gently go down into the waters. As they departed, what was left was a breezy silence and the unalloyed calmness of the ocean and I felt wrapped up in the immensity of Her divine love and grace. Her poise and grace pervaded the atmosphere and presided over the vast expanse of the ocean. The watery expanse seemed as an ocean of Her divine consciousness. The sea appeared as an ocean of Her infinite love and grace. Along with the images, the feelings of hurt and deprivation that had tormented me seemed to dissolve in the immensity of her love. The gentleness that pervaded the scene brought a deep and profound sense of relief.
The sting of old memories receded. The calmness that slowly dawned in my being with Mother’s presence above the peaceful dancing waves ushered in a feeling of lightness and newness fraught with a sense of gradual well-being. Slowly, I felt a sort of peace replacing the old disturbance and as peace seemed to descend into my being, with a childlike spontaneity I expressed my yearning to enjoy a state of perfect health and well-being. As I was talking, I realised that the scene had suddenly shifted to the shores of the beach, with Mother holding a racket, all ready for a game of tennis. Spontaneously, a smile alighted on my face and I straightened up. Truly I felt absolutely light — ‘born again’. The yoke of burden was gone. With a new-found peace, a sense of determinism seemed to take hold of me.
And by Her grace, the following days saw me as a new person. My face literally cleared up. My mind seemed lit and motivated. I decided to work my way to health. I began to go for walks and attended to the daily chores with a feeling of repose. This repose further strengthened as I began to believe and practise the principles expounded in the concept of ‘Consciousness as medicine’, which was the underlying theme of Dr.Yogesh’s two-day programme that I attended. The moments that I spent regularly connecting with her light and grace were so poignant, I felt charged with peace and energy.
Her infinite grace enveloped me, making me receptive to Her light and Her healing powers. It’s an experience I cherish whenever I practise the discipline ‘Consciousness as medicine’. The healing experience turned out to be a revelation that past experiences lived on as memories, filling me with anguish, anger, disappointment and a sense of sadness. These had got lodged in my mind causing a sort of imbalance in my health. It manifested itself as a physical problem. I had unknowingly allowed these emotions to hold me captive.
It is with a deep sense of gratitude I record this experience and the healing process. It’s not just a process but a journey towards Light, towards discovering Her power of grace whose centre is within oneself and envelops the entire space. By the divine intervention that came to be, my health has made progressive strides. Three-quarters of the year has now passed by. After connecting with this eternal source of Light and Her grace, which is there both within and without, I am more at peace. There have been no significant disturbances to my health. However, when the physical mind and the vital mind throw in their utterances bringing back memories, I follow Dr. Yogesh’s advice, ‘Offer it to the Mother, and seek her grace to pour forth Her light into the dark recesses of the subconscient’. I seek Her grace to bring in silence and quietude into my solar plexus and abdomen.
(This was a unique session that lasted a little more than two hours. I knew I had done nothing, but merely allowed a very deep healing experience to happen. I knew that a major problem had been solved, but of course she still has to remain conscious and constantly work on her fears and worries which may bring the problem back).
As mentored by the doctor, I surrender to Her. The sharpness of such memories have blunted and I am soon able to regain my poise. I am able to deal with such memories with a feeling of objectivity. I do admit that my surrender to Her grace be more whole and I must get rid of the habitual ways of thinking. I close with a deep sense of gratitude to our Divine Mother, my most revered Supreme, for this gift of grace and health and to the doctor for facilitating this process as Her channel.
I truly believe with the strength of conviction that a vigilant mind is a must. My sincere thanks to the doctor for allaying my doubts and fears and for reinforcing the strength of this conviction: cultivating a receptivity to Her grace Is the way to experience poise, balance, health and the delight of existence in myriad ways. I thank Dr. Yogesh for this opportunity to share this profound experience.
Dr. Yogesh, MD, PSM is presently working at Saveetha Medical College, Chennai.
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